The year 2012 marked the fourteenth time of incarceration in a period of 10 years for Sharon, as a result of her substance use disorder. She recalls sitting in her jail cell feeling broken, hopeless, simultaneously suffering from other health issues— she felt she had hit rock bottom.Suddenly, it was here– the day that changed her life forever. She recalls seeing three women walking into the prison and staring directly at her. “It was the first time I felt someone look at me with pure love—that, I will never forget.” She recalls. The women she was referring to were Santa Maria’s recovery coaches (at the time) Amelia Murphy and Cynthia Branch who teamed up with Kathy Griffin, a long-time recovery partner, and now-director of the Precinct One human trafficking division. Sharon remembers clearly their words that have remained with her forever: “It is not too late for your dreams to come true. What God has in store for you is going to blow your mind.” After learning about Santa Maria’s Path to Recovery program, combined with the trust and connection she felt with the coaches, she did not hesitate and agreed to participate in the program. For the next three months the trio would visit Sharon in prison where she would participate in group sessions, as part of the Path to Recovery program.

The gatherings helped Sharon to see there was hope. She started gaining back her self esteem and began focusing on identifying her strengths. Following her release from Plane State Jail, Sharon was admitted into the residential treatment program at the Santa Maria- Jacquelyn House facility. The coaches helped her develop her own recovery plan which she followed faithfully. As she made outstanding progress she was referred to three different United Way organizations where she was embraced and empowered. Her recovery coach remained closely connected with her during all of her transitions. Sharon eventually had a part time job, was paying minimal costs for her own apartment as she continued to improve her health and wellness, and build the Recovery Capital necessary to sustain long term recovery. She was now taking leaps forward, without looking back at her past.

Two years into recovery, she became a recovery coach and began volunteering with Santa Maria. She went back to the same prison and same dorm she was recruited out of, “I know the way out,” she told them. Sharon volunteered for 10 months before her passion, commitment and skills earned her a full-time recovery coach position at Santa Maria, under the leadership of the Senior Director of Recovery Support Services, Amelia Murphy, who was her recovery coach in Path to Recovery. While in this position she became an officer for the Peer Advisory Council, and was able to use the talent she developed while earning her Bachelor of Fine Arts from U of H in 1996 by designing the logo for this group. She continued to excel and even had the opportunity to jointly with Amelia go to the Texas State Capitol to make a presentation in support of H.B. 1486, advocating for the value of peer support specialist roles in the mental health and addiction recovery arena. Sharon held her position with Santa Maria for two and half years, and she is now working for the Council on Recovery. Today, she continues to volunteer with Santa Maria, facilitating a recovery meeting every Saturday, and taking ladies to meetings. “Santa Maria saw beyond my symptoms and focused on my spirit. I went from being a financial drain to a tax paying, volunteering asset to my community,” she proudly states.

“She’s a real coach, with natural ability to lead,” says Amelia

Murphy, Director of Recovery Support Services (RSS) of Deborah

Uselton. Deborah has joined the Peer Recovery Coach team

here at SMH this year after 15 years of active drug abuse and a

seemingly never-ending cycle of addiction and incarceration. A

life of trauma and chaos was slowly transformed through the

work Deborah did under the guidance of her mentor and coach at Santa Maria.

Her changes began with a visit from Kim to her jail cell. There, Deborah understood

the hope of Kim’s long-term recovery message. She wanted that for her own life and

through hard work and laser focus, she made recovery her reality. Today, she is an

employee of the RSS team working at the Harris County Family Intervention Court,

inspiring others to a life of possibilities. She is a woman in long-term recovery with

a mission and a purpose. She is the face and the voice of RecovHERy as well as a

proud member of the recovery movement.

Kristina began to “lose her grip” when her husband, the father of her small daughter, lost his life. She turned to Santa Maria in 2012 for the first time to begin treatment. For a long while after, she maintained her sobriety and began to build a new life – but then she felt it all “crumbling inside”. She phoned her former SMH counselor, Lucia DePaoli, a phone number she had kept close, and asked if she could return for more treatment. She was accepted with open arms. 

Often, recovery does not follow a straight ascent. There are trials and barriers that knock an individual down along the way. It is in the learning from attempts at sobriety where hope emerges from desperation. An individual remembers that there is a community that cares and is willing to assist. Humbly asking for help is the first step to resume the journey. 

This time in treatment, Kristina was able to focus on her early childhood trauma and loss through important sessions with her guiding counselor. Her individualized trauma therapy made all of the difference. She began to realize that the early onset of poorly treated childhood depression had hijacked her development and future. 

She completed medical detoxification followed by 90 days of treatment at Jacquelyn House. Her daughter waited under the watchful eye of family, whose support and love pulled Kristina through. Then, to her great delight, her seven year old daughter joined her in their new transitional apartment on the Bonita House campus. That first day together, they enjoyed the simple pleasures of the playground and a chance to sit in their new home, braiding hair. 

Kristina is determined to give her daughter a life of possibilities. She makes times daily to listen and validate her thoughts and keen insight. She is grateful for the play therapy that is afforded to her child. She relishes in the conversation and the expression of her daughter’s feelings, a skill her child has learned through counseling. Kristina plans to obtain a certification in Recovery Coach Training and begin anew helping others to find the community of recovery. She is the face of RecovHERy. 

Tifini has been a teacher, a social worker and a professional hair and make up artist, well-known and successful.  She had a blog and with a partner founded a life-style magazine.  She was a member of the New York Association of Black Journalists. She had three children and a home of her own.

Then things darkened as she slipped into a jarring foreclosure. She left her home and traveled to Houston, finding work as a substitute teacher.  The loneliness, extreme depression and shame of her circumstances intensified her drinking.  She knew she was approaching addiction with her alcohol use and needed support.  Another eviction leveled her, alone with two children in a strange city.

A friend told her about Santa Maria and she applied for housing in our HUD program of transitional apartments for women and children who are homeless.  She was on the waiting list for four months…but she was persistent. She was finally accepted in February 2015.

Once safe in her new surroundings, her case manager, Erin Martin recognized that there were issues with alcohol and Tifini needed treatment.  It was actually a big relief because she knew that she had needed treatment had not sought it out because she had no place for her children to go will she engaged. Here, she could be in treatment and have her children with her! She was switched to the Women with Children program and spent 120 days in treatment.  Later she completed the Outpatient phase while training for work.

Another staff member, Senior Director Donna White saw something special. Tifini was recommended for a culinary training program through the Houston Food Bank and SER Jobs for Progress,  a collaboration arranged by Educational Services Instructor, Linda Johnson. She would be the all important first client from SMH to be given this opportunity.  She went on as an intern at Le Meridien, serving her time in the kitchen preparing meals for employees of the hotel.  She loved cooking and the ability to create!

Through grace, she has found friends, hope, church and community.  Erin and Donna have served as mentors to this productive young woman. Her children have thrived along with her and many times encouraged her to go on.  One day, one moment at a time and a lot of hard work have proved that life doesn’t end because of mishaps.  She is the face and voice of RecovHERy as well as a proud member of the recovery movement.

“Recovery does work. It works.” says Paterra Warren, a Peer Recovery Coach on staff at Santa Maria.  “Everything that I have done is because of my drug addiction, but also my big accomplishments are because of my drug addiction.  If all of those things had never happened to me, I wouldn’t be where I am today I wouldn’t have this purpose, this job. It made me into what I am today.”

Paterra has learned that addiction does not discriminate.  Different from many, Paterra’s childhood was wonderful.  She was raised in a loving home, full of family fun, vacations, and school life.  She was just drawn into the wrong crowd and found that she liked to drink alcohol.  Alcohol made her bolder, more “wild”.  Early on, however, she found she drank to become drunk.

At college, she quickly fell into her old habit of drinking which soon led to abusing drugs.  To maintain her drug habit and lifestyle, she needed money, so she turned to prostitution.  After years of a dangerous life, she was finally introduced to Santa Maria through STAR Drug Court, a diversion court that supports opportunities for treatment and change rather than punishment.

She participated in treatment at Santa Maria’s Jacquelyn House for 90 days. She then moved into transitional housing at Well Springs.  She got a job, and she continued outpatient treatment at Career in Recovery.  As she states, “recovery has to do with being connected. Staying connected.”  Nearing her fifth year of sobriety, she is a successful graduate of STAR Drug Court, a certified community health care worker, a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor, and is currently working towards a degree in social work.

Recently hired as the Peer Recovery specialist for the Women with Children program, she says “I love what I do. And that’s why I wouldn’t change what happened back then because of all of that I am here today.” Her growth radiates through her story.  “ I’m willing, I’m open-minded, I’m teachable and each day brings something new and something different.  Every day I just ask God to work through me, because at the end of the day it is not about me, my story is not for me.  It is for others.”

She is the face of RecovHERy.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker

When you first meet Danielle, you see a smart, strong, disciplined and spiritual young woman who is striving to succeed in her recovery. Her main motivation is her love for her two children with whom she recently regained full custody.

She has turned a corner on a life filled with trouble, a life that was never easy for her. From the time she was a child, she watched her parents face life under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She was offered her first drink at the tender age of ten, by her father. Spending time with him, meant spending time in bars. Just two short years later, she was introduced to drugs by a family friend. What followed were ten years of deepening dependency as she cycled through juvenile detention and later adult incarceration. Eventually, she found herself a young mother, hooked on a variety of drugs and the loss of temporary custody of her son through a CPS charge of neglect. That finally got her attention and offered her the first shot at treatment.

Unfortunately, it did not stick. Once more, she was sent to jail for a possession charge. She discovered that she was pregnant and transferred to the WHO program (Women Helping Ourselves)* here at Santa Maria. It was a critical moment for her. “Every time before, I was able to manipulate myself out of a bad situation, but this time I had burned all of my bridges and exhausted all of my resources. I was done. I surrendered, “ she says.

This acceptance allowed her to focus on her recovery every day. From April to December 2013, she successfully completed her residential program, following it with Intensive Outpatient services for another seven months. She focused on building a new foundation, developing coping skills and a support system. She bonded with her baby girl who was born healthy in October of that transformational year. She learned parenting techniques. She quickly found a job, starting with an entry-level position, working her way to something that provides stability for her family today.

Life in long-term recovery has really paid off for Danielle. She keeps what she has achieved by service to others who are struggling. Sharing her story and living one day at a time in faith provide her the way forward. Best of all, she is sharing a future she created with her children, providing for them with love and gratitude.

* The WHO program is an alternative to incarceration for women who are pregnant, post partum or who have serious health issues, all dominated by substance use disorder. Santa Maria reserves 16 beds for the vital program that begun in 2005. The success rate is astounding with 75-80% of graduates staying clean and sober and out of jail for a year past completion of the program.

Meet Joni Jobeths, 27 years old, a mother of three children who is now in recovery. She tells us how she has greatly benefited from participating in the MOMMIES Pregnant and Postpartum Intervention Program. Joni says she is sharing her story, “not because there is a lot of good in my past, but as a way to help others who can learn from my struggles.”

She came to the MOMMIES Program 8 months ago when she was 18 weeks pregnant and with a heavy heart. She had been feeling scared, guilty, shameful and worried to say the least. She has a history of depression and began self-medicating at an early age, including using opiates. Her battle with addiction to opiates goes back for 10 years.

“Before finding about Santa Maria, I contacted many other different places and nobody would take me because I was pregnant… it was very discouraging but I was determined to get help and get clean,” says Joni.

Joni was linked to a medication assisted treatment (MAT) provider and referred to Santa Maria for concurrent residential treatment, where she successfully completed 120 days of residential services. “Without Santa Maria, the PPI Program, and without this amazing group of people, I could not have been able to accomplish what I have done. I’ve gone to other detox programs in the past but they didn’t work for me” she continued.

Joni’s problems with addiction were lodged deep inside her. The traumas left from her depression, self-mutilation and being bullied at school needed to be addressed. “I didn’t really understand those traumas until I came to Santa Maria. Here, with the help of my counselors, coaches, peers and my sponsor, I was able to take the time to reflect about my self and learn everything I know today…. I learned so much about myself, about my addiction. I learned the coping mechanisms; I learned to recognize my triggers and what to do about them. Now I have the knowledge, the tools and I have a team of people that support me, motivate me and inspire me… It means the world to know that I count on them for anything and everything” she beamed.

While feeding her baby, Joni continues, “Thanks to the MOMMIES Program from Santa Maria, I was blessed to have my daughter born in perfect condition, she was full term, she weighted almost 8 pounds. She is 8 weeks old now and is a happy and healthy baby. I’m trying my hardest, I still attend outpatient meetings, I’m working on my 12 steps and on my recovery every single day. It’s not easy but I’m doing the best I can, just taking it one day at a time.”

Joni knows she is one of the lucky ones to have overcome her struggles. Just in the past four months, seven of her friends back home have passed away from overdose. “It is shocking and sad” she mumbles and continues to explain, “So, I want others to know that change is possible. I hope others realize with my story that addiction is a disease, it’s not a choice and with the support of programs like this one, we are able to educate and advocate for recovery. Often people don’t want to get help because they are afraid of what others will think about their addiction.”

Joni’s heart is filled with hope now… She is about to complete her GED and is confident she will continue her education at a community college in the fall. “I want to go to school, I know that will open a door to a big start. I want to make my family proud… Now just telling my story I look back and I realized how far I’ve come, and this actually makes me feel proud of myself, and this is a good feeling!” she exclaimed.

At a very young age Sonja found herself drinking alcohol as a way to suppress the trauma she had gone through in her childhood. Later on she found in cocaine the consolation she needed when life just simply wasn’t going her way.

She had a tough childhood. Her dad passed away when she was 6 years old. She grew up watching her mother and grandmother suffer from alcoholism. Her mom passed away at the age of 44 from cirrhosis of the liver. Two of her uncles also died of the same disease. “It runs in my family”, she said. “So I knew I had to do something different with my life.”

As a result of her addiction, she ran into problems with the law and was charged with both assault and possession of narcotics, resulting in 2 years of probation. During this time, Sonja realized that in order to put her life in order and break from her family’s history, she had to be honest with herself and surrender – so she asked for help.

“I was so nervous to go to jail; I didn’t know what to expect. It was hard, but I just knew I had to do it”. Her family was supportive, and they knew Sonja was determined; she wanted to do it for herself but also for her 10 year old daughter who is living with her grandmother while she seeks treatment.

After a month and a half at the Harris County Jail, Sonja was transferred to Santa Maria Hostel where she was admitted into residential treatment and was introduced to the Women’s Access Project Houston (WAPH). She completed 3 months of the WAPH Program while in residential treatment, followed by 4 months as outpatient. While still in treatment she suffered the loss of 2 family members: her uncle and cousin, both deaths within a week of each other. These unfortunate events lead Sonja to a relapse. “Luckily I had the best team of counselors and coaches who took me under their wings from day one. They know that things can happen and are here not to judge but to help me in my recovery.”

This episode of relapse reminded Sonja to stay humble, to work on sobriety and recovery every single day. “In order to deal with addiction I have to deal with my trauma and my emotions. I had to start by forgiving my mother, my grandmother and especially myself.”

“I have a lot of ‘wow’ moments, where I am able to recognize the reason behind my actions and that gives me so much confidence in myself… I don’t regret anything that has happened because thanks to my past I am who I am today. Recovery has made me a better person.”

“I’m forever grateful to SMH for the role it has played in my life. It has been a life changing experience. They change lives for real, they changed mine.”
Now Sonja is part of the Transitional Living program (HUD) at SMH, which she calls her “safe heaven”. She now has a full time job, studies Business Administration at South University, serves as a member of the Peer Advisory Council of SMH and has big dreams for herself.

“Some times it’s overwhelming but I just feel determined. I prioritize and I get it done. I find motivation when I look back at how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown as a person. I’m putting in the work now and the sky is the limit”.

SMH and her Recovery Support Team made such an impact in Sonja’s life that she wants to advocate for recovery as a way to give back. “I turned my life around and I’m making the difference in my family… because I’m doing things differently. Now I want to make the difference in someone else’s life too”.

Messages by Santa Maria Alumni

I want to thank my supporters and superheroes in my recovery including my sponsor, and loving boyfriend, who have been backing up my each and every positive stage of progression.

My largest of appreciation is to God’s amazing mercy and grace that has covered my life. Jonah said “But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.” And the Lord has said “I will heal your waywardness and love you freely, for my anger has turned away from you.” Jonah’s pit was in the belly of a whale, while mine was found in a life of spiritually stunted growth. A life in which I constantly looked into soulless eyes around me and together were sold once again to a chemical fix, instead of God’s warm embrace and that of those who desperately wanted to save me. It has taken a lot of forgiveness of my past, and accepting the lessons has become a means for persevering. Not all lessons in my life were negative consequences, once I realized that God’s will for me would never be to harm me, but to make me prosperous. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned since being at Santa Maria was that just because I’d finally decided to recover, didn’t mean everyone would trust my decision to do so. My parents aren’t present, but I know today they did the best they could, or knew. At some point they had to choose their own lives, or the unmanageability of mine. “The Lord says “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you” and Psalms 27:10 says “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. His love for me far exceeds that of any love on Earth, and through his love I am able to love those who I must at a distance. Bill W once said “we will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and grow.”

I never want another human being to know the pain and suffering of addiction and those it effects. But the hope that I’ve found I want all to have. I am at peace today and as I indulge in the serene aspects of my new living, I believe in me. I believe though I always can’t He can, and I let Him. Despite the tornado I was in the eye of, one so many know too well. “You Lord, are our father, we are the clay, you are the potter. We are all the work of you hand.” The works of far exceeded the destruction of mine time and time again, and He has made no mistake in His creation. Thank you Santa Maria Jacquelyn staff for your patience, tolerance and understanding – the code of recovery.

“Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace” (Luke 8:48)

-Ashley

 

Hi my name is Chelsey and I am a woman in long term recovery and what that means to me is that I have not found it necessary to use any drugs since September 7 of 2016. Without the help from staff in the Mirrors program and the counseling they’ve provided for me I wouldn’t have made it this far without the use of drugs. My recovery coach and family coach have made a big impact in my life. Keeping me on track, how not to isolate myself from others and family members. Mirrors staff have given me patience with open arms (Big Hearts) always willing to help, taking the time to talk and listen to whatever it may be. Also a big impact on reuniting with family and staying very strong in my recovery.

These women are here to really support and help to their best and I really love and appreciate it. Y’all have made me very comfortable to talk and let go a lot of things that were weighing on me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m on a never-ending journey called recovery, I’m clean and sober, and I’m doing it just for me.

-Chelsey

 

Recovery is a true passion and mission in my life. I am a powerful advocate for recovery and for recovering birth mothers. Santa Maria planted a seed in me and taught me how to live without using drugs or alcohol. I am extremely thankful for the knowledge and information given to me that has equipped me with a recovery tool belt to use whenever addiction wants to fight it’s hardest! I am a member of PAC and continue to share my story and help others who come behind me at Santa Maria. I left Santa Maria in July of 2016 and I am now a productive woman in recovery who strives for my full potential daily. I am a woman of long term recovery and what that means to me is I have not felt it necessary to drink, drug, use any mind altering substances, or commit any crimes since January 29, 2016. I truly give all my thanks to God and Santa Maria. I am truly blessed! Thank you,

-Jessica Y

 

Before I found recovery I had come to a place in my life where I felt not just broken, but shattered. As I began to develop and grow in my recovery I was able to put the pieces back together and I began to come alive again through the hope and encouragement I was given by others. I was able to find my purpose and to really live a happy and self-fulfilled life. Thank you Santa Maria.

-Traci M

 

Santa Maria has helped me in many aspects of my life. I’ve learned how to live a healthy life without drugs. Santa Maria has helped me to believe in myself and others. I’ve also learned how to have healthy boundaries. I have learned to love myself again.

– Stephanie B

 

Santa Maria is more than a place for recovery. I have learned a great deal on how to cope, get support, and work legally for my life. My recovery coaches who help me understand my addition along with my counselor continue to inspire me. I love the Peer Advisory Council and my family is getting stable by making better choices today!

How many times have I reviewed my relapse prevention materials to keep me on task. I have finally landed a home support group with my Sponsor Francis and we are going to sober events together. I am completing probation in the next few months and this experience has been helpful to keep discipline with my behaviors. Overall, my probation officer will join me on my birthday night celebration, which is more than amazing.

Santa Maria gave me a life filled with HOPE… Thanks to God and everyone who loved me until I could love myself.

-Mary Beth

 

Thanks to my Recovery I am now living a life beyond my wildest dreams! I had no idea that people felt like this. For the first time in my life I know what peace and joy feel like. I have purpose and meaning in my life and I am usefully whole. I am a taxpaying, volunteering asset to my community. Best of all I once again am a mother. Thank you Santa Maria.

– Sharon H

 

Every day is a winding road, but to each there is a destination. Choosing whether to reach it or to detour, becomes the common struggle. To each day there is a lesson as well as to each success and each mistake. Seeking God’s lessons instead of looking for what we think should have happened can be difficult but the parallel of light and darkness are like oil and water. Change who I am, all that I’ve thought I’ve consisted of. Rediscovering God’s purpose for me, not based on selfish will. Trusting the unknown, and departing from ol’ reliable but walking a narrow path beats lying in a ditch. The embrace of God far exceeds the grip of death around my neck. Angel whispers in my ear saying you can do it, instead of the voice in my head, the disease, saying I can’t. I am changing, one day at a time, one second and not too much more. Forward not backward with full resilience. This is my change.

-Ashley L

 

Santa Maria Hostel has given me the opportunity to make a better life not only for my children, but also for myself. Being at Santa Maria taught me responsibility, structure, boundaries, as well as how to love myself again. I also learned how to be a better parent, a better person, and that it is possible to enjoy life being sober. Sincerely,

-Tierica W

 

Amber’s new tattoo – the Santa Maria logo.

“I call it my recovery tattoo; you see nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Representing my recovery, how it happened, where it happened, and why it happened. God is amazing because I love my life today and I love me!” ~ Amber

The first thing you notice when you meet Amber is that she is a confident and self-aware woman. But she hasn’t always been this way. Like so many other women here at Santa Maria, Amber has had a troubled past and turned to drugs and alcohol to cope and create some sort of comfort. It all started for Amber at the young age of 15 when she first started using marijuana which quickly escalated to cocaine, meth, ecstasy, and other substances by the time she turned 16. Amber stated, “I was using to escape my feelings and drugs were the only thing to make it better.” Although she didn’t realize it at the time, she had an addiction.   But it didn’t stop there. Her addiction escalated and she soon began selling drugs which offered her a lifestyle of status, money, drugs, and possessions. Amber recalls of her earlier times, “I was in the game and hustling while using daily and couldn’t stay sober.”

Amber became pregnant and delivered her baby 3 weeks early which prompted tests that revealed her past drug use bringing about her first experience with Children Protective Services (CPS). Amber went to a rehab facility in Austin and tried to work the program but soon found herself relapsing not only on using but dealing drugs as well. Amber hit “rock bottom” when she was arrested for Xanax with her baby in the car. Amber reflects, “At that exact point I knew that I had hit bottom. I was filled with guilt and shame and now realize that I needed that experience to show me that I was not the person I wanted to be.” Amber’s infant son was placed in the care of a relative by CPS and Amber had to make a lifestyle change for the sake of her baby. Amber stated, “I remember telling myself that enough was enough and I didn’t know who I was but I knew that I loved my son and had to work on my issues and most importantly, be honest with myself.”

With her son in the care of a relative, Amber came to Santa Maria to get help. She remembers making the tough decision to leave her son. “I had the option of bringing my son to treatment with me at Santa Maria but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t be a mom until I fixed myself first. Looking back on it, the sacrifice was difficult but for me it was the right choice.” At Santa Maria Amber thrived and learned a lot about herself and her past. She realized that she had underlying abandonment and rejection issues that stem from an alcoholic father and distant mother that lead her to the drug lifestyle. Amber now has the tools and skills to cope with her addiction. While Amber’s path to recovery will continue for her lifetime, you can see that she now has the confidence, drive, and determination to be not only the person she always wanted to be but a mother to her son. We are happy to report that Amber has a great job now in a supervisory capacity while she actively works her recovery.   And the best news of all, Amber is getting her son back this month.   When asked how Santa Maria has helped her: Amber simply stated, “Recovery is my new life now.”